What's the Use of Wearing Braces?



TUNE: MEN OF HARLECH

What’s the use of wearing braces,
Vests and pants and boots with laces.
Spats and hats you buy in places
Down in Brompton Road,
What’s the use of shirts of cotton,
Studs that always get forgotten.
These affairs are simply rotten,
Better far is WOAD

Woad’s the stuff to show men,
Woad to scare your foemen.
Boil it to a brilliant blue
And rub it in your back and your abdomen.
Ancient Briton never hit on
Anything as good as Woad to fit on.
Necks or knees, or where you sit on,
Tailors, you be blowed.

Romans came across the channel
All wrapped up in tin and flannel
Half a pint of Woad per man’ll
Dress you more than these,
Saxon you can waste your stitches
Building beds for bugs in britches.
We have Woad to clothe us, which is not a nest for fleas.

Romans keep your armours, Saxons your pyjamas.
Hairy coats were meant for goats, gorillas, yaks, retriever dogs and Lamas.
Tramp up Snowdon with your Woad on, never mind if you be rained or blowed on.
Never want a button sewed on, Go it Ancient B’s.

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