I know what you're looking at me for, I
know what you’re looking at well.
You're looking at my lavender
trousers, wishing you could be a swell.
My Grandad gave them to
me so that I might look a toff,
And now I've got the damn things on,
I’ll never, never take then off
Oh, in these old lavender trousers I've often skipped and skated.
I've wept and slept, crept and leapt, and twice been
vaccinated.
I've drunk white wine and bad champagne, been up the pole and
down the drain.
Till I won the heart of Mary Jane, in these old
lavender trousers.
Late last night I went down to Liptons, folks
said "Look here’s someone big!
Who’s that man in the lavender
trousers, Henry the 8th or Lipton's pig?"
I nipped behind the counter
and while I wasn’t seen,
Down my legs I stuffed some eggs and a
little bit of margarine.
Oh, in these old lavender trousers, it really was quite
shocking,
The margarine was turning green and trickling
down my stocking.
Lipton sent for the man in blue, for all those
eggs were hatching too.
And all the little chicks went
“COCK-adoodle-doo",
In these old lavender trousers!
Late last month we all went down to Brighton,
We had no
case nor a portmanteau,
So I packed our things in my lavender
trousers, a walking case you know.
As we neared the station
my wife she said to me,
“Look Jim, don’t pay for our kid, let’s
try to smuggle him in free”.
So in these old lavender trousers, we
stuffed our little Sammy,
Walked right through, paid for two, me
and his dear mammy.
All went well till the young hound, got me
pinched and fined a pound,
When he poked his fist through a hole
he’d found
In these old lavender trousers!
Rev120707